To Be Interesting, Be More Interested
I left a female friend of mine at a bar somewhere in Eastern Nigeria.
She knew only two words of Igbo, the local language, Ee, and Mba (yes and no).
Noticing that she was alone and obviously far from home, a drunken man approached and started speaking to her.
She responded occasionally with an Ee or Mba.
When I returned later, my friend was still in conversation with the drunk.
Only using the same two words.
The drunk found my friend to be a very interesting person, without her needing to say much. Simply because she listened to him.
Then it hit me.
In conversations with anyone, would it not be better to intentionally listen to what the other person has to say? As opposed to trying to put on a show of your brilliance.
That way, they’ll be interested in you without you saying a word.
As the masterful British prime minister, Benjamin Disraeli once said:
Talk to a man about himself, and he will listen for hours.
Human beings are naturally self-absorbed by default. Disraeli knew this to be true. We derive great pleasure from people who seem to show the slightest bit of interest in us — whether romantically or professionally.
In this modern world full of distracting technology devices and gadgets, we often find ourselves constantly trying to appear interesting to others through the things we do or say. Sometimes, even to our detriment.
Take this knowledge of the innate human desire to be the object of interest, and use it to your advantage. Appear to be genuinely interested in a person (or group), and besides the bonus of being perceived as a great listener, you will in turn appear to be an interesting person.
