POINT OF VIEW
Why Highly Intelligent People Lack Empathy
And how a significant level of intellect comes with societal burdens.
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Lacking empathy sucks.
Especially when I can’t help it. I just feel like there are more valuable things to occupy my mind with.
‘Oh, you fell down some stairs?’
I hope you’re okay, but I’ve still got some sh*t to do. Catch you later.
Too many people feed on unnecessary sympathy and displaying a certain level of empathy makes you vulnerable to emotional blackmail.
Why would I willingly add that to the long list of burdens society has already imposed on me?
Here are only a few of them.
To be expected to expect the unexpected
Unrealistic expectations are a heavy burden for anyone to carry.
To be constantly expected to see and understand things that people around me cannot perceive gets exhausting.
If a certain task would take other people months to complete, I’m supposed to somehow perform magic and achieve it in weeks.
If for whatever reason I’m not making more money or having a better career than my peers, I’m considered a failure.
At this point, the pressure I put on myself has begun to grow on its own. Whatever I do that’s not perceived as a win is seen as the opposite.
Making friends has never been easy
People act as though I should feel bad about only wanting to be friends with intelligent people I can relate with.
Whenever I meet someone new, I immediately put them through a subtle test. I’d ask clever but seemingly innocent questions to gauge their intellect.
Occasionally, I’d meet kind and genuine people who don’t pass the test. I give them a shot.
I might get bored and reduce communication with them sooner rather than later, but at least we now know each other.
As you can imagine, this can get a bit lonely. And when loneliness is established, it doesn’t take too long before depression begins to creep in.
Too much information is not enough
If there’s a decision to be made, I want to know every possible outcome there could be. Ironically, having that much information often delays me from making a decision altogether.
Overthinking is a habit I’ve battled with for years, and to date, I’m still on the losing side.
‘Michael, you’ve been charged with getting so caught up with perfection that you hardly ever get sh*t done. How do you plea?’
Guilty your honor, take me in!
If you don’t get it, forget about it
Teachers should be superstars.
Have you ever tried teaching someone that just can’t seem to get it? If you have, then you understand the amount of frustration that’s involved.
If you haven’t, then you’re probably a selfish person and I’ve got nothing to say to you.
I’m joking (not really).
My point is because I learn very fast, it’s easy to get trapped in a single perspective (my own) while attempting to pass on knowledge.
My lack of empathy eliminates the desire to see things from the other person’s point of view.
Thinking about thoughts
My overthinking habit (which I mentioned earlier) causes mild anxiety in social situations.
This makes it very difficult for me to embrace the beautiful imperfections of the people around me without analyzing every little thing.
Attempts to clear my mind and go with the flow usually feel pretentious. Almost like I’m not being true to myself.
Giving and showing love
My romantic partners suffer from this the most and I understand why.
Dealing with someone who’s emotionally distant and insensitive to delicate matters gets old sooner or later.
Especially when that someone is like me, who tends to spend too much time inside their head while ignoring looming problems until they become too big not to pay attention to.
Honestly, I don’t know how my loved ones put up with me but I’m grateful.
Rounding up…
Caring too much about what other people think or would say about you is a recipe for unhappiness and inefficiency.
You’d waste too much time worrying about their thoughts, instead of using that time to be productive.
Besides, not having empathy doesn’t stop you from being a good person. It just makes you act and say things in a way that can be perceived as ‘cold’ now and again. Don’t feel bad about it.
We all have our distinct flaws. The important thing is that you know what your flaws are and continue to work on them for your own good and for the good of those around you.
